Straight to the point

Well, this year was a real mixed bag. I came in strong from 2023 and kind of crashed all year, and ended up feeling kind of bad about myself for a lot of 2024 as a result. It’s a weird situation where on one hand, I ended up doing a lot of fun and interesting things; On the other, I feel like I was personally stagnant for much of this year. I spent a lot of 2024 being depressed instead of doing cool shit or building relationships and that’s something I intend to change in 2025. I guess in a way it’s like 2023 again, so maybe that’s a good sign.

Let’s review the things I said I wanted to do this year and how I’ll address them in the coming year.

1. Write more

In January, I said I wanted to write more and just burned out immediately. I still want to write more, and I think it’ll be a good way to keep me engaged with my goals in 2025. I’ll write one blog post a month about my current project and how I’m approaching it. I still have thoughts lined up about my espresso machine and the way we engage in discoure around difficulty in video games, those will come through the pipeline eventually.

I also want to change my SSG. This blog is generated using Hugo, and while it’s served my purposes (far better than Wordpress ever did), I kind of hate it. Every time I want to write a new post, there’s been an update that breaks shit. Adding new features to the site is too complex. The docs are not very good. I’m looking at moving the site to Astro, since I know JS/TS already and I can more readily customize it to my liking.

2. Games and Streaming

I gave up the streaming game early into the year, and I don’t know that I intend to return. I may put energy into a new speedgame but I think the time and energy spent streaming would be better used elsewhere. I’m not certain Licenseathon will continue either. It was fun to do, but it burned me out and I haven’t felt supported by the head organizer. There wasn’t an event this year, and it may remain that way.

3. Learn a new skill

I basically did nothing to advance this goal in 2024, which is frustrating. I’ve promised my dad a leatherworking workshop as a christmas gift, so that’ll be one thing. Drawing and 3D modelling are once again on my list of to-dos because I like them, and it would be nice to make use of my sewing skills too. There might even be some creative writing down the line. I also started work on a fursuit head and really need to finish it within one lifetime.

4. Socialize

Boy this was a REAL up and down this year. I made a lot of good connections on my trips, but I feel like overall my social sphere has become more distant. Between the pandemic and a number of my friends moving away, I don’t love the thought that my 20s have been kind of isolated.

5. Use the Theme Journal

It’s a good idea but at this point I’m not convinced I’ll actually follow through. There’s a part of my brain that seems to resist organization. We’ll see.

What did I actually do?

Now we’ve been over what I didn’t do, here’s what I did:

• Attended two furry conventions
• Made new local friends
• Went on vacation to Europe and took meticulous notes
• Took a trip to the east coast to visit my friends
• Started a new D&D campaign with said friends
• Began disassembling a Playstation game
• Began my journey into low-level computation

Admittedly it sounds pretty good when I write it all out like this. It maybe seems like I was too much of a downer in the intro, but between all those cool moments I was seriously just wasting away and it didn’t feel good. I think this year was much like 2022: High-stress and lonely, punctuated by cool moments and projects. I’d like to maintain those highs and get rid of the lows, with fewer weeks of nonfunctional depression naps. I especially want to invest more in myself and my social life.

I think that’s basically it. I’m not that happiest with how things turned out in 2024, but I’m looking towards the future. If I can help it, this is the year when I put my foot down and say “Shit sucks? Let’s work on that”.

See you in 2025.